Advice Post #1: Dealing with Stress

Hi everyone!

Welcome back to my blog. As you read from the title, I am going to try to give you all some advice on how to handle stress. Please bear in mind that the techniques I talk about are all things that help me personally and I am not a professional in any way! Please also remember that I am not clinically diagnosed with a mental illness as my symptoms are very mild compared to other people's and they don't call for professional help. I stress out very frequently but I can keep it under control by myself, and I'm going to be talking about how. If you feel that your symptoms are severe, there is no shame in seeing a professional about it as your mental health is just as important as your physical health. 

Stress is something that affects all of us, no matter the person or circumstance. Like so many other people, I tend to stress out a lot and for things that aren't worth stressing over. I'm an overthinker with a very vivid imagination. This means that, if I start thinking about anything at all in detail, I usually end up blowing things way out of proportion and working myself up. What with everything that's been going on in the world, my stress levels are going through the roof and I'm sure that a lot of you can relate. So, here is how I  calm myself down, and hopefully, some of you might be able to take some of my advice on. 

NOTE: This post is pretty long, so scroll down to the bottom for a summary if you want one. I recommend reading the entire post but I understand that you might not have time, so the option is there. 

Acknowledgement

Some people are lucky enough to know exactly what they're feeling and why they're feeling it. However, if you're like me, you may have some difficulties figuring out what you're feeling and why you're feeling it. If you're thinking why is my chest feeling tight or why am I getting so emotional then, believe it or not, you're on the right track. You might dismiss what you're feeling as 'dramatic' but please don't do that! I can't tell you how important it is to be honest and upfront with yourself about how you feel in all circumstances and to not hide behind any other emotion. It sounds harsh and it sounds scary, but it's possible. A great way to do this is by communicating what you're feeling: whether it's in a personal journal or if it's to another person. 

Remember that stress is triggered by a situation, so try figuring out what exactly is making you stressed. It could be something more obvious (like exam stress) but it may be more subtle, so look out for patterns. Sometimes, a person or a sensation (like the feeling of being trapped) can stress you out. The reality is, you might feel more on-edge after a mentally draining day, so take that into account as well. 

Talk it out 

Go talk to a friend or family member that you trust and talk about how you're feeling. Even if they're not able to offer any advice on your situation, it's good to convert your feelings to words so that you have a better idea on how to deal with it. They could also be able to distinguish whether they think you need professional help- since we are sometimes stuck on the 'I'm just being dramatic' mantra about ourselves, we might need someone else to tell us that we're not dramatic, our feelings are valid and it's totally fine to get help if you need it. 

You may not feel comfortable talking to someone close to you about your distress- you may be scared that you'll upset them or disappoint them. That's totally normal but if they really care about you, they'd much rather you come to them than bottle it up! Think about it: would you want your little sister to talk to you when she's upset or would you rather she keep it bottled up because she's afraid of somehow hurting you?

That being said, if you would rather talk to someone more distant, you can go see a professional and there are websites online that provide tips, advice and some form of free therapy. 

Rationalising 

It's nice to have someone to tell you everything's going to be okay, but it's even better to be able to tell yourself that. That way, if you're stressed about something and don't have anyone to go to straight away, you can calm yourself down first. 

I recommend talking yourself through your situation. I ask myself if I can fix whatever's stressing me out or not. If the answer is yes, then I can do something to make the situation better, so there's no need to stress. If the answer is no, then there is nothing I can do, so I might as well relax. Again, there's no need to stress. Repeating this to myself really does help. 

Distractions

 If you can't do anything about whatever you're stressing about, or you don't know why you're on edge, the best thing to do is to distract yourself. Even if you can do something about it, it's usually best to divert yourself from the situation until you're calmer. That way, you can start fixing whatever the problem is with a clearer head. For example, if you're stressing about your exams, theoretically you can do something about your results by studying more. However, there is no point in doing the work that's stressing you out until you feel better because that will make things worse. 

How you distract yourself depends on the type of person you are and what is stressing you out, which you need to stay away from. Currently, lots of people are stressing about the news. If that happens to you, stop checking social media and other news outlets (I might do another post specific to stressing about the news so let me know if that's something you want to see). 

No matter what you're stressed out about, one thing I really recommend doing first is doing something to make yourself feel 'clean' on the outside. I'm not sure why, but it helps me feel a lot better. This could be washing your hair, shaving your legs, brushing your hair, moisturising your body, changing into something else that's comfortable or all of the above. Having a shower or bath is a great one because it makes you feel clean and relaxed. 

What you do next depends on the type of person you are. I am a very introverted person and when I'm stressed about something, I prefer to be left alone. I usually take time out to watch movies or TV shows, listen to my favourite music, read a good book and eat lots of comfort food. I also tend to turn off my phone, or at least avoid social media. However, more extroverted people (such as my brother and some of my friends) may prefer human contact such as playing board games with your family, FaceTiming your friends etc. Either way, try to avoid whatever was stressing you out so much and, if you need to, come back to it when you feel better. 

Can you see why it was so important to acknowledge your stress in the beginning? If you waved it off, you would have probably continued to submerge yourself in the situation and you wouldn't have taken the time you needed to make yourself feel better. Distractions are probably the most effective way of alleviating stress but acknowledging your stress is arguably the most important. If you don't recognise it, how are you going to fix it?

Try not to rush yourself to relax and enjoy the moment. Too often, I'm thinking about what I have planned for tomorrow instead of enjoying myself when I'm trying to chill. Take things at your own pace: you might relax within a couple of hours and sometimes you need to take a few days off before you're back to your usual self. 

I'm also not saying you should forget about your problems completely! Obviously, sometimes what is stressing you out does need to be dealt with eventually (unless it's something incredibly small or something you can't do anything about!). I just find that I am very unproductive when I'm stressed and forcing myself to face the problem head-on when I'm in a terrible mindset is a no-go. 

Here's a quick summary:

• Address your stress! 
• Try thinking about why you're stressed. This could be obvious, but sometimes you can be on-edge for no apparent reason.
• Talk to other people about whatever's stressing you out and how you feel.
• Journal.
• Make sure you're constantly telling yourself that the stress isn't going to do you any good.
• Make yourself feel clean by having a bath, washing your hair, changing your clothes etc.
• If you're more introverted take some time to yourself and watch movies, read books and listen to music
• If you're more extroverted talk to people about light-hearted things or play board games.
• In both cases, steer clear from whatever you're stressed about. 
• Keep doing this until you've relaxed and don't rush yourself.

As I've said before, I'm not a professional so don't take what I say too seriously. I also know that my stress is nowhere near as bad as other people's so if you have severe stress, please know that the techniques I use are in no way a substitute for professional help or anything a specialist has recommended. 

So, there you have it. As you can see, I'm not much of a meditating kind of girl: I'm more about the distractions which, for me, are the most effective way of clearing my head so that I can address the situation later. I am still learning, so if you have any tips on how you manage your stress leave them in the comments below for myself and other people to see.

I am thinking about making these advice posts a series as I love giving people advice! So, let me know in the comments if that's something you want to see and please leave some topics for me to talk about.

Thank you so much for reading this post. Sorry about how long it is: I tend to ramble when I give advice! Please subscribe by pressing the button and the top of your page and, if you're a blogger, leave your blog down in the comments below so that I can check your blog out. My Twitter is @alishascornerxx so go ahead and follow it if you're interested. I follow everyone back.

Stay safe,

Alisha xx